This Kid’s “Flip Heard Around the World” Is Symbolic of Everything Wrong With Our Country
When one of the lead viral videos on the internet is of a high school senior flipping a Costco water bottle at a talent show, I instantaneously understand why some Americans are able to take Donald Trump seriously.
Just yesterday, a video of North Carolina’s Ardrey Kell High School senior Michael Senatore hit the internet. At his school’s talent show, he decided to display his only talent, flipping a water bottle and having it land flat. There is a big build up in the video, with compelling music and a lot of foolish posturing by the soon to be graduate. Then it all stops, he takes his stance, flips the bottle in the air, and it lands perfectly on the table. And the crowd goes wild.
Besides reaffirming my decision to avoid North Carolina at all costs, this is a perfect example of one of America’s longest and most cherished pastimes: Excellence in mediocrity. Americans’ ability to celebrate the average is legendary. It happened all the time on American Idol. It has brought us the Kardashians’ domination of popular media. It is responsible for so much of our country’s low points, from Paris Hilton to Madonna to George Washington himself. All throughout history, Americans have championed those with good attendance records over the true achievers and brilliant minds.
I’d be remiss if I didn’t chalk a lot of this up to whiteness. Omarosa, for all of her flaws and disconcerting affection for Donald Trump, spoke directly to this when she read Bethanny Frankel, one-time talk show host and reality show staple, for filth on her very own show.
The funniest part of that clip is not Omarosa’s scathing words, but the clear disdain that comes from the audience. Far too often, white folks are congratulated for the unimpressive. And when it’s pointed out, the truth hurts.
But the ridiculous celebration of non-value added abilities rarely stops at just applause, a participation ribbon, and a pat on the back. Americans put their money where their ignorance is. At this very moment, a signed replica of the Costco bottle that he flipped that night is on sale on Ebay. The current highest bid? $15,100.00. Mind you, this is a “replica” (i.e. just another Costco water bottle), meaning the only difference between this Costco water bottle and one you get from Costco yourself is a meaningless signature and shipping costs. But this is America, and we have yet to find stop finding worthless things to waste our money on or any
near-talentless person to invest said dollars in.
This is American excellence. Many conservatives have heralded its importance to our country’s legacy and its future. It is our ability to believe so strongly and support so boldly that which is so lackluster that sets us apart from the rest of the world. And sadly, they are right.
Watch the video below (and prepare to be underwhelmed):
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