WaterCoolerConvos

10 Buildings We Should Occupy Like the Bundy Clan

ammon-bundyRemember the outrageous occupation of the Malheur National Wildlife Refuge and the harebrained Bundy father and son duo that led the charge? Well, they were acquitted on all charges this week. And in response to them facing no penalties for seizing a federal government facility for 40 days, I can think of 10 other locations that we should consider occupying for much more admirable reasons.

Just for some brief background information, this whole drama started with Cliven Bundy, the Nevada farmer who – after defrauding the federal government of land use fees for years – staged a violent act of militia resistance when the government came to collect. Following those events, his son, Ammon Bundy (pictured) launched an occupation of federally-owned lands to demand that the government turn over the property to the sovereign people (you know, white people who believe this land is rightfully their’s). Bundy and Co. really thought that they were well within their rights to trespass on federal land and hold it under threat of gun violence. They were that firm in their beliefs that they somehow thought this was a good idea.

The problem here is that they were right.

An all-white jury let them all go home this week, with a full nothing in consequences to own up to. So maybe they were on to something. Maybe if we occupy the right buildings too, we can make our points and then leave our criminal records unmarred.

Here are some equally preposterous buildings we could occupy too:

1. The White House

It was built by slaves and we’re owed reparations. What would be more fitting that occupying the home of our country’s leader? Plus we can tour any rooms we want, from the Oval Office to the Lincoln Bedroom. Let’s do this (after January though).

2. Monticello

We all know what Thomas Jefferson did. During this occupation, we can destroy a bunch of historical artifacts, just like the Bundy crew desecrated Native American artifacts and burial grounds. We can do the same thing but for actually correct and historically justified reasons.

3. The Washington Redskins Stadium

Somehow, it’s 2016 and we’re still using racist depictions of people as mascots for sports teams. In retribution, let’s occupy the buildings where these images are exalted. This goes for the Chicago Blackhawks, Cleveland Indians, and any other sports team (professional or not) that turns actual people into mascots.

4. Any Building With the Word “Trump” On It

I’m all for occupying any building related to Donald J. Trump. Sadly, Trump’s company has decided not to name any future buildings after the Donald, making it harder for us to identify his buildings. When that happens, we’ll just have to occupy those too.

5. The Capitol Building

The laws of our country come from this building. And as black people, those laws haven’t always been in our favor. This seems like good enough reason to shut it down.

6. The World Series

Why not hold up a sporting event so arrogant as to literally proclaim itself the world’s pinnacle of competition? The whole world would be watching, right? And with all the food packed in the stadium’s concession stands, we’d be able to sustain ourselves for months.

7. Sleeping Beauty Castle at Disneyland

Fewer things are more sacred to red-blooded Americans than anything Disney-related. And a real life castle built within a Fantasyland is one of its ultimate symbols. If we occupy it, we can demand that Disney finally pay its employees a fair living wage with benefits. Sorry Disney. You mess with Doc McStuffins and the gloves come off.

8. Statue of Liberty

Yes, Lady Liberty herself. This would be a great platform to bring attention to any cause, especially any of the litany of injustices women face on the daily, and I can already hear the right-wing media sharpening their pitchforks. But more importantly, we can hold a weeks’ long cookout all over Ellis Island. And yes, the links and potato salad will be made by only uncles wearing socks and sandals and aunties with large purses, respectively.

9. Every Trader Joe’s and Whole Foods Nationwide

We could try to make a statement about animal rights or GMOs or food deserts in less affluent neighborhoods. But no matter the cause, the uproar would be instantaneous and deafening.

10. The Bundy Ranch

Because there is no greater irony than occupying the occupiers. Let’s take a stand against white supremacy and anybody that acts to support its continued reign of terror.

 

Photo credit: Ammon Bundy Twitter

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Daren W. Jackson

Co-Founder/Editor
Daren is one half of the Water Cooler Convos team. He's a writer, music connoisseur, and comic book geek who spends his free time working on his novel and other short stories.

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