On being Black, being disposed of, and seeking status.
“You may as well leave my class now because you’re wasting my time and your’s,” Mr. Harris interrupted our Calculus class. “You’re never going to be anything anyway. Why are...
Category: Love and Relationships
11 reasons why the ‘American Dream’ is a violent nightmare if you’re Black
Black people have never been considered truly “American”. That fact becomes even clearer when they are also disabled or poor or queer or trans. Yet, study after study about young...
How Jay-Z’s ‘4:44’ moment made me reassess my 4:45
This is not an album review. This is also not a man’s take on Jay-Z’s “Lemonade Moment”. Rather, it’s an honest look at the ways men, especially “good Black...
It is impossible to love Black women and R-Kelly at the same time
Moving to Chicago in 2014 taught me a number of things. It taught me what real cold felt like. It taught me how pizza should taste. And it also taught...
How we use the term ‘hater’ to avoid reflection and self-improvement
One of the greatest R&B lines ever delivered is “don’t need no hateration, holleration, in this dancerie.” The Queen of R&B, Mary J. Blige gave us that one in...
On ‘4:44’, maleness, and the performance of the public apology
Recently, rapper Jay-Z released his thirteenth solo album 4:44. The album details his infidelity to his wife, mother of his three children, and perhaps the biggest superstar in the world, Beyoncé....
Three reasons why a romantic relationship won’t fix you
I have achieved the rare feat of being in a committed relationship for nearly fifteen years. I have been married for over a decade and have three kids. I’m still...
Why relationships with emotionally unavailable people never work
Growing up, one of the most consistent messages I got about women, specifically Black women, was that we were golddiggers. Concerns about women “always wanting something from a man,” and...
If you can’t be happy for Ciara and Serena, it’s probably because you’re a misogynist
Let’s be honest, most of y’all couldn’t get with Serena or Ciara (or any level-headed woman) on your best day. And, yet, you stay pressed about who these women date,...
Oprah is Happy She Can Straddle Stedman And I’m Here For It
I never thought I would put the words “Oprah” and “straddle” in the same sentence ever, yet here we are in this glorious and unprecedented moment. At Monday’s premiere of...
10 Things I Have Learned In Ten Years Of Marriage
My life partner (husband) and I are coming up on our first decade of marriage this Friday. And, while it has been getting me all up in the feels over...
It’s Time To Start Developing A Village Mentality
Poet and educator Gwendolyn Brooks once said, “We are each other’s harvest; we are each other’s business; we are each other’s magnitude and bond.” I have always lived in this...
Let’s stop bothering Meagan Good about her clothes
Folks have been concerned about Meagan Good’s clothing choices for what feels like forever. A few years ago, she was in the news for wearing a revealing dress (that she looked...
My Last Goal for 2016: I Will Nurture My Aspirations
Real life is sometimes the greatest deterrent to living. Bills, family obligations, career limitations, unexpected health emergencies, and a host of other issues can sometimes lead us to step away...
Don’t Believe the Hype: College Years Were the Worst Years of My Life
I am 31-years-old and I just found my people. They weren’t at my high school. They weren’t at my undergrad institution. They were all waiting for me in Chicago, at...
Knowing the Old Me Doesn’t Mean You Know the Real Me
Alice Walker once said, “No person is your friend who demands your silence, or denies your right to grow.” I couldn’t agree with her more. Over the years, I have...
On Loving Black Women Even When it’s Scary
Last week, I thought I lost two of my dearest friends. They thought they lost me too. But, it turned out, we each were navigating a world hell bent on...
The False Virtue of a Vagina ‘Certificate of Purity’
First, yes. The title of this article has the word “vagina” in it. I’m going to say it a lot because that’s what this post is about. I’m also going...
Yes, I’m a Black Woman in the Echo Chamber
Growing up, I was socialized to believe that other people, especially men, had a right to invade my personal space. Men were constantly commenting on my gender representation as if...
He’s Not My ‘King’: Why Marriage is a Partnership Not an Empire
I am a cis-queer Black woman who has been in a heterosexual relationship with a cis-heterosexual man for the past twelve years. For almost ten of those years, we have...
Daren W. Jackson
Jenn M. Jackson
Staff