#BlerdGifts: Life-size (and Functional) NES Controller Coffee Table

NES Controller Table

This holiday season, you may be wondering what to buy for that special blerd in your life. Never fear for I have pulled together some of the best gifts tailored to the unique desires of blerds everywhere. Check back through Christmas for more blerd gift ideas.

BlerdGift #2: The Functional NES Controller Coffee Table

Etsy.com is a destination for specialized, one-of-a-kind items. And all blerds love to be able to say they have the only “something” in existence. Exclusivity is everything.

But something special happens when you combine that exclusivity with nerd nostalgia like the original Nintendo Entertainment System (or NES for short). That is exactly what the NES controller table is. Here are three ways to know if this is the perfect gift for the blerd in your life:

1. Your blerd already owns an NES system. Because only a true blerd would still have a NES. A blerd would have an NES if he/she were that meticulous about game systems that the original has somehow survived since the 80’s or he/she has ventured into eBay territory to purchase one (because it is imperative to own all video game consoles that have ever been produced).

2. Your blerd will actually put this thing to good use. No one buys a table sized NES table and then doesn’t play with it. Though I imagine traversing the tough terrain of Super Mario Bros. might be tough with a table this size, I am sure a friend could be found to handle the A and B buttons while your blerd manages the D-pad. And blerds definitely know what a D-pad is.

3. Your blerd would feel no shame in displaying this thing in the living room (though a dedicated gaming room would be preferential). How would you know if your blerd would feel ashamed? Glance around their current living room. If you see any Star Trek memorabilia, Star Wars figurines, or anything comic book related, you are are good to go. These are all signs of someone who would proclaim “Blerd and proud” like they were Jennifer Lawrence in an X-Men movie.

If you know a blerd that fits this description, plop down your $1,300 and you’ve found the perfect gift. But if you are interested, buy now. There is only one available.

Check out our last gift recommendation: A hands-free mechanical umbrella system.

Any other ideas for blerd gifts? Leave them in the comments below. They might land in our round up.

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Daren W. Jackson

Daren is one half of the Water Cooler Convos team. He's a writer, music connoisseur, and comic book geek who spends his free time working on his novel and other short stories.