And then there are the ones we left behind…
“This shit is so hard, babe. People think it’s easy but it isn’t. It is so so hard,” I told my partner through tears this morning. I was standing in...
Category: Lifestyle
Getting socks for Christmas: On the pain we carry from holidays past
It was a few days before Christmas. The kids were off of school. I was wishing I had a nanny. “I’m supposed to take care of J,” my daughter declared....
For some of us, it’s time to enter a Year of ‘No’
I recently purchased Shonda Rhimes’ Year of Yes: How to Dance It Out, Stand In the Sun and Be Your Own Person for my partner. It wasn’t until I read the...
How we use the term ‘hater’ to avoid reflection and self-improvement
One of the greatest R&B lines ever delivered is “don’t need no hateration, holleration, in this dancerie.” The Queen of R&B, Mary J. Blige gave us that one in...
Stop Giving Yourself Away: On Millennials, Depression, and Personal Growth
I give myself away all the time. To my children. To my partner. To mom. To my friends. To my job. My boss. My peers. My couch. My studies. My...
I’m a Black, Millennial, Academic, Mom. Yes, it is harder than you think.
I was born in 1984. While I wasn’t really allowed to watch popular television shows for almost a decade, I vividly remember seeing TLC’s “What About Your Friends” video on...
Anxiety, Death and The Moments When ‘This Is Us’ Gets It Completely Right
A couple of weeks ago, I wrote a conflicted piece about NBC’s “This Is Us.” Befuddled by the dissonance I experienced between the show’s resounding praise and my own thoughts...
Why, As A Queer Black Woman, It’s Important That I Write About Culture
Growing up, my mother never had a shortage of Ebony and Essence magazines splayed across our coffee table, a fact that has shaped me into adulthood. When I was bored, I...
It’s Not ‘Impostor Syndrome’ When You’re Black and Woman
Almost every morning for the past two years, I have found myself sitting in my car on this predominantly White campus playing Tasha Cobbs or Kendrick Lamar or BJ the...
‘The Miseducation of Lauryn Hill’ and the Birth of My Black Womanhood
The other day, as I was driving and watching his little puzzled face in my rear-view mirror, I told my son how Lauryn Hill’s experience having her son Zion was so similar...
A Word of Thanks to the Black Men Who Taught Me Self-Hate
There have been few constants in my life. But, as I was reflecting today, I remembered a daily, weekly, monthly occurrence throughout my childhood that often left me questioning my...
Meet Musiq Soulchild’s Alter-Ego Purple Wondaluv [ALBUM REVIEW]
Musiq Soulchild was one of the biggest faces in the neo-soul movement of the early-2000s. His soaring falsetto and straight to the heart compositions on tracks like “Love” and “Don’t...
When You ‘Mistake’ Me for the Other Black Woman at Work…
Being a six-foot-four inch tall black woman often precludes me from being mistaken for other people. Growing up, I was almost never told “Hey, you look just like my friend,”...
I am Losing My Father and it’s the Worst Pain I Have Ever Felt
I am losing my dad to cancer. I decided to write about it now so I never have to write about it again. He has been battling the disease since...
Hair Woes for Black Girls in a Colorblind World
I looked out of my driver side window at a shiny, red convertible. Next to it was an average looking white man and a black girl no more than twelve...
‘Trophy Scarves’: Who is Nate Hill Really Indicting?
My daughter’s beauty is beyond skin deep. She is compassionate, sensitive, and affectionate, always looking to cheer up those around her with a card, a handmade gift, or a hug....
